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    Monday, October 3, 2011

    The sound of one hand

    I usually have a tough time relaxing with a hectic schedule and trying to squeeze every moment of the week into all the things i want to do.  While trying to find a story to read my husband so he could fall asleep before working on crew I came upon a pretty good one.  He was having trouble falling asleep, but this one worked at getting him to relax.  Something about it brings calm to my mind.



    The Sound of One Hand
    The master of Kennin temple was Mokurai, Silent Thunder. He had a little protégé named Toyo who was only twelve years old. Toyo saw the older disciples visit the master's room each morning and evening to receive instruction in sanzen or personal guidence in which they were given koans to stop mind-wandering.
    Toyo wished to do sanzen also.
    "Wait a while," said Mokurai. "You are too young."
    But the child insisted, so the teacher finally consented.
    In the evening little Toyo went at the proper time to the threshold of Mokurai's sanzen room. He struck the gong to announce his presence, bowed respectfully three times outside the door, and went to sit before the master in respectful silence.
    "You can hear the sound of two hands when they clap together," said Mokurai. "Now show me the sound of one hand."
    Toyo bowed and went to his room to consider this problem. From his window he could hear the music of the geishas. "Ah, I have it!" he proclaimed.
    The next evening, when his teacher asked him to illustrate the sound of one hand, Toyo began to play the music of the geishas.
    "No, no," said Mokurai. "That will never do. That is not the sound of one hand. You've not got it at all."
    Thinking that such music might interrupt, Toyo moved his abode to a quiet place. He meditated again. "What can the sound of one hand be?" He happened to hear some water dripping. "I have it," imagined Toyo.
    When he next appeared before his teacher, he imitated dripping water.
    "What is that?" asked Mokurai. "That is the sound of dripping water, but not the sound of one hand. Try again."
    In vain Toyo meditated to hear the sound of one hand. He heard the sighing of the wind. But the sound was rejected.
    He heard the cry of an owl. This was also refused.
    The sound of one hand was not the locusts.
    For more than ten times Toyo visited Mokurai with different sounds. All were wrong. For almost a year he pondered what the sound of one hand might be.
    At last Toyo entered true meditation and transcended all sounds. "I could collect no more," he explained later, "so I reached the soundless sound."
    Toyo had realized the sound of one hand. 





    Too often we feel uncomfortable with silence, but there is something profound in the realization that your ears and mind have been freed of the over-stimulation of life. Before I sleep tonight I can feel the release because the soundless sound is the last thing that I hear before I fall asleep.

    Wednesday, September 28, 2011

    THE BEST VACATION OF MY LIFE

    I finally found the cable and got my photos loaded onto snapfish.  Photos from our trip and my wedding included.  I can't wait to get them all printed out.  Hawaii will always be in my heart.  I am truly blessed to have been able to take the trip and get married in Maui.


    To Listen to you



    I haven't been able to obtain the whole video on it, but here is a small clip of the video footage of our wedding.  The waves kind of drown out most of the sound.

    Tuesday, September 27, 2011

    Married the love of my life

    September 6, 2011. A year to the day we become a couple. I am truly blessed.













































    ♥ Mr. and Mrs. DeCastro ♥

























    Sunday, January 23, 2011

    At the divine mercy

    Today at Church we witnessed something interesting.






    and some pics from the weekend
    my cutie cousin dale aka toshio


    my adorable cousin chacha

    my sis and cha


    dad lol

    momma san

    my best friend and personal hero, alicia came to visit this weekend.

    Overall, good weekend. Derek comes on Friday! yay!

    Sunday, January 16, 2011

    so, what happened after i left?

    It's been almost a year since i've left california for bootcamp on february 16th and my life has kind of come around full circle. I'm back at my parents house on the weekends and I am stationed at Beale. I kiss the ground at my feet to be back in California and it feels good to be back home. But I guess the difference is, home doesn't change, but you do. I'm not the same person I left California as. I can feel it in the way I carry myself, I can feel it in the way I act around other people, I can feel it in the way I wake up in the morning. I am still the silly, odd fun person, but there is a certain seriousness and gravity that I feel. I feel like no matter what I do I have to be better, to get better and to be stronger. Maybe this was the drive that I lost in the endless studies of college. I had lost all practicality in my search of purpose. The feeling of insecurity in the next step has been lightened because for the next six years of my life it will be chosen for me. I am not sure on whether all the changes the military has made on me have been good or bad, but in actuality they are all made within a forward trajectory; thus they can't be all that bad.

    Monday, February 15, 2010

    goodbye for now



    hello everyone. i am off to bootcamp. i will be at lackland afb. i leave tomorrow afternoon. for anybody wanting to contact or write me, call 210-671-3024 for my mailing address, ask for airman jaimelle (jay-mel) dollaga.

    it seems like time has flew by since i walked into the recruiter's office at the end of december. i got the call two weeks ago while on the way home from visiting andrew in socal. i got the job in military intelligence and i was told i would be leaving in two weeks for bootcamp. i have done my best to see my family and friends before leaving, but the time has come and my time is ticking away. soon i will make the change from civilian to airman. i will miss all my friends and family, but i hope to learn from this experience and move forward with my career in the military. i want to see a change in myself to become a person with discipline, strength, intelligence and integrity. staying at home will get me nowhere in life and its time to leave. i feel like a tiger trapped in a cage here. while i may not be taking the path in life that most people take, i feel like i can do this. people have told me it will be difficult, but i am strong enough physically and mentally. i am not afraid and i only hope to better myself.



    nu, take care and be strong i love you very much. thank you for being my friend. i would not know where i would be without your love and support. you have been by my side through all my hardships and have always relied on you. i have always wanted a friend like you in my life. you are so beautiful, intelligent and your heart is bigger than anyone i have every met. i wish you luck in ur future and with andy.





    haha grad buddies. yes, we had the same major hehe.


    andrew, good luck with your internship, i love you and don't forget about me. i have never loved anybody the way i have loved you and i will never forget the times that we have shared. you are the only man to understand my heart. i wish you all the happiness possible in life. fate is bridge you build between you and the one you love. all the steps i am taking will someday lead back to you.






    ryan, thank you for letting me vomit creativity with you and give me a chance to feel famous for once in my life. i am so inspired by ur vision and artistic inspiration. i know you will do great things in photography, your eye for beauty and talent will take you leaps and bounds into the fashion world.

    to my sis, be good and i believe in you. don't let school or parental criticism get you down. you are the only person i know who always gets what they want. just be sure to give me some botox and laser resurfacing on my face when ur a dermatologist. to my parents, i love you both and thank you for everything. things are about to get interesting, lets see where the wind takes me...

    V-day & Chinese New Year Madness Memories...

    i drew andrew a picture for my vday present.


    hehe even though i'm filipino i still get to celebrate chinese new year if i hang out with andrew yay!


    (at chua lair)










    future Airman First Class Dollaga