*All I want for Christmas*

(I call this the spoiled bitch pose. It seems quite fitting for the topic. Dior Bronze look eyeshadow from Nu Nu Doll! hehe my lips match my bra!)


Honestly, I have everything I could want. I have a wonderful family, great boyfriend, great wifey girlfriend and best friends who are always there for me. What I would really want is an answer to what to do with the rest of my life, but then that takes all the fun of figuring it out. That and plane ticket to Japan to see my best friend, Alicia. A plane ticket to the east coast wouldn't hurt too, I want to see Nu! Then again, who doesn't like presents? So I guess I should put up my own hypothetical wish list so I can look at it and check off when I get things for myself when I get a job again. Ugh, not working is not too great, especially when I have to buy everyone Christmas presents. But then again shopping is always fun!

Agent Provocateur Xena Collar


Coco de Mer: Betony Vernon Collar



And yes, I need a Miracle at 34B...


Sephora Stuff: Because I am a beauty addict...

My favorite perfume:


Something for anti-aging, because I'm not getting any younger


Night Butterfly eyeshadow palette. Nu got me hooked on these


Who doesn't want bigger lips?


and lashes


♥ Clothing & Apparel

Who doesn't like having toned legs. My sister wanted these and she argues that I don't need them.


And if you have toned legs, you have to show them off. These pants make your legs look looong

American Apparel Disco pants

And a dress for holiday parties.


Gosh, I want this necklace. I saw it in the Swarovski store when i went out with my sister today. Its so pretty!



I guess I'll update this more when I can think of more things i want, but yea I need to get to work. Anways, I just finished my holiday shopping. All in one day and in two hours. I am quite proud. Its a record for me.



Happy Holidays Everyone!

♥Jaime

Unworthy

Its strange, growing up you think everything will fall into place. You go to school, go to college, get a degree, get an awesome job, have a cool boyfriend, marry the cool boyfriend and have incredibly gorgeous kids that magically appear. Haha, shoot graduating high school I thought everything would fall into place. I graduated with a 3.97 in HS so I had the hopes and dreams of becoming a doctor. Only to find that I was not as smart as I thought I was. As I get older, I am slowly beginning to realize that I am not as brilliant and invincible as I had previously imagined. I got the first C in my life in college. I really didn't know how to handle it. I felt so stupid. I felt like I was letting my family down. I felt like a failure. Maybe that was where I failed though. Looking back after graduating, after that moment I already labeled myself as an idiot and a slacker. I guess I destined myself to a self-proclaimed prophesy. Now I find myself with a degree and I am not quite sure what to do with my life. I don't have the volunteer work, experience, nor the grades to earn an internship. So where does that leave me? I really ask myself that every day and it is a crippling feeling to not know what to do with your life. I feel self disgust and worthlessness as I waste my days away in my parents house. I feel so shameful to waste my parents money on getting a degree and I feel like I have let them down. People had high hopes for me and I let them down too. I feel so embarrassed when people ask me what do I do, because the answer is honestly nothing. I feel incredibly unworthy of my friends, family, boyfriend because everybody else has a purpose or has at least done something with themselves. I just get so frustrated. I know there are things I can do, but I am not sure where to start. I have a plan on what to do, but I guess all I can do now is to mentally prepare myself and hope for the best in my future. I know I can do it, its just the waiting part that is the problem.

I'm sorry for the depressing post. I just had to get it out.

-Jaime



much love to my friends, family, boyfriend and readers. I am sorry if I worry others with my insecurities.

and i suppose mindless, low quality wecam pics of me being a dork might make light of a somewhat dreary post


organized disheveled hair.


blow dried and blank eyed


I suffer from the peace sign epidemic. I admit, I have a problem.

oh skype, you keep me going with my long distance relationship as I bask in the glow of my blue webcam light.
♥ Miss u Mr. C and Nu ♥

Happy Thanksgiving Everyone!

I just wanted to take a moment to say Happy Thanksgiving to everyone and thanks everyone for reading and supporting my blog. It really means a lot to me. Enjoy the holiday and have fun with your friends and family!

and now some random thanksgiving break photos as i run around causing trouble.

It was cold on the beach at night.


yet i end up walking around in short shorts. weather inappropriate apparel, typical...


haha you don't know how many times it took to get the camera to catch me airborn


boyfriends make great chin rests.


i ran ahead. and ended up in a picture


i claim the white duck, his name is gordon, gordon luu.





its like they were people captured into sand


wild strawberries!


andrew's photography talent consists of catching me at inopportune times on camera.




hahaha fob status!


and yes, couple pictures. it took forever to get both our heads in the picture. we ended up with 5 pictures of just sand and neither of us.










PS:

and yay! my Band Hero picture came out. I'm on the back cover! woohoo!






run away with me!

Blue Lips

(pls excuse my ashy and messily painted nails.)


I was bored last night and started doodling in my notepad. I am not quite that good, but I had a Regina Spektor song stuck in my head and insomnia on my mind. Lips on the top are inspired by some "special" people. Blue is the most human color, when we die we get cold and our lips turn blue. Sorry if it sounds morbid, but I found it beautiful in its own way.

Blue Lips: Regina Spektor

He stumbled into faith and thought
God, there is all there is
The pictures in his mind arose
And began to breathe
And all the gods and all the worlds
Began colliding on a backdrop of blue

Blue lips, blue veins

He took a step but then felt tired
He said I'll rest a little while
But when he tried to walk again
He wasn't a child
And all the people hurried fast, real fast
And no one ever smiled

Blue lips, blue veins
Blue, the color of our planet
From far, far away
Blue lips, blue veins
Blue, the color of our planet
From far, far away

He stumbled into faith and thought
God, there is all there is
The pictures in his mind arose
And began to breathe
And no one saw and no one heard
They just followed the lead
The pictures in his mind arose
And began to breathe

And no one saw
And no one heard they just followed the lead
The pictures in his mind awoke
And began to breed

They started off beneath an olive tree
And they chopped it down to make a picket fence
And marching along the railroad tracks
They smiled real wide for the camera lens
As they made it past the enemy lines
Just to become enslaved in the enemy lines

Blue lips, blue veins
Blue, the color of our planet
From far, far away
Blue lips, blue veins
Blue, the color of our planet
From far, far away

Blue, the most human color [x3]
Blue lips, blue veins
Blue, the color of our planet
From far, far away

Dearest Nu Nu Doll and Mr. A. Chan ♥

Distance is hard...


But, I get through the day with your kind words.



Dearest Nu,
Thank you for always being there for me and talking me through all my insecurities. I know i get crazy sometimes and its nice to have someone to talk to when I am going all crazy. I am so happy for you and Andy and you inspire me to pursue the same type of happiness. You are such a beautiful person and your heart and kind soul emanate through your words. We'll meet someday and I'm glad that I have found a friend. Good friends are hard to come by, I shall hold you close to my heart.


Dear Mr. A.Chan,
Even though we live far apart I am glad that we are still able to see each other. Through our own pseudo-reality we have our own special relationship. I am glad we were finally able to say what we were feeling. You are the reason for my spontaneous smiles throughout the day. I don't know what our future holds, but I am thankful for all the adventures that you take me on. I have finally found someone willing to share my wanderlust. Distance doesn't matter when I have someone that cares about me the way you do. Haha, good men are hard to come by. I am glad we are together.


haha hot retarded face!






haha its like i'm vogue-ing. Oh well, I tried. I am truly blessed to have such wonderful people in my life. And a friend that lets me vomit creativity to my heart's content:
Ryan Chua, you are the master of the lens.

♥ Jaime

♥ O'Hare and Nails Look Great! ♥

I was looking for a nice red nail polish and my lovely buddy Nu Nu Doll recommended this polish. O'Hare and Nails Look Great by OPI. It is a beautiful deep red color that makes your nails look vampy and sexy at the same time.

Here it is on my nails. I was experimenting with my hair and tried to make it look more huge and textured. So this is my contrived fro. I tried...


I also started to get a little bored. Here is what I wore yesterday. It happens when it gets cold in the city. I am beginning to notice I've been looking a little paler in my pictures, but I figure its a trick of the lighting.



hehe and yes, I have acquired the pet boyfriend. That sounds derogatory, I really don't mean it like that. I like him a lot. He makes me smile and takes me cool places and isn't afraid to venture out. He inspires me every day to work harder and figure out what I want to do with my life. While I try to bring optimism and energy into his life. He is a dietetics/clinical nutrition major just like me. In fact we graduated sitting next to each other. He also looks cute in a suit. tee hee. His name is Andrew, I mentioned him in earlier entries. He makes me smile.

I hope he doesn't get mad at me for posting his camera phone picture whoring. Its a habit we both share.

he got me this cool keychain from a wedding he went to over the weekend. Hence, the suit.


Anyways, thanks for stopping by and reading my daily ramblings!

RAWR!
♥ Jaime

Super Bored & I ♥ DSK Jewelry

I was super bored and took pictures with my camera phone of my Medium AB heart from DSK jewelry. Ghetto photo shoot status. Its pretty much my favorite necklace and I wear it every day. Its simple and pretty and I always seem to get compliments on it. Sorry no retouching. Shout out to Steph! you rock girl!



Check out DSK Jewelry!


Boredom Cont.

I went to trader joe's today bc i wanted to buy myself flowers and trail mix for my oatmeal cookies. I bought lilies because they reminded me of my wifey Nu Nu Doll. She's such a wonderful person who supports me and makes me smile every day.

*TOXIC*
I offered some to my room mate and I got a lecture on how lilies are toxic in the bedroom. Oh well, I guess I'll die happy. I'd rather expose myself to toxic influences that put a smile on my face than the 'natural cleansing' she does with all the products she buys. I just run on the beach to keep myself healthy. I only graduated with a degree in nutrition and work at a gym, what do i know about being healthy. Riiight. I kept my feelings to myself, I was only trying to be nice after all. At least I'm not grumpy and shitting my ass off in the toilet. JK! Although, I have a couple reasons to smile today....